by fleet » Sun Jul 08, 2012 2:45 am
Congratulations on making your first visual novel. Many folks never get as far as you did..
I played it through once. The graphics and sound are okay. I didn't notice any problems with the menus. The story does not have a conclusion; I assume it is a demo. If is it a demo I have no comments on the story. If it is the full story, what happened to the main character (did the monster girls kill or eat him, did he find out why they wanted to kill him, did he escape)?
You should put more effort into using correct capitalization and punctuation. I would strongly recommend getting a proofreader to review your work before you make a public release. The personal pronoun "I" is always capitalized, as are contractions using the personal pronoun (such as "I'll"). Likewise, the first letter of the first word of a sentence is always capitalized. The first letter of a person's name is also capitalized. You need to be careful and include the apostrophe when you use contractions.
Many people would not even bother to look at a VN when the announcement post has multiple capitalization and punctuation errors. It shows that the author didn't put much effort into his post, and that strongly implies that the VN itself will contain lots of similar errors.
Very respectfully,
Fleet
Why? I like big ones, that's why.