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Novelty forum • View topic - Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Show off your works in progress or share your completed games with the community.

Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby jokkey » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:45 pm

Hiya, This is my first post :!:

I would like the comment from this community about my recent side project, which i use novelty to make it.
In this project I've made a mutiple choice VN.

Image

Right now the game only got 3 chapters, I only wanted to know the comment from our community before I advance further.
I'll add more system into the game.... Those are my experience with VN games.

For the map and working system are still in progress, but I already got the idea of how to make it.
Image

I've learn a lot of from the tutorial in youtube and from this forum. I would like to thank you for keeping this forum alive. It was a life saver.

This game was not made to sell or to distribute, I was merely testing myself whether I could end this game or not.
And sorry for the english grammar, I'm not very good in english :lol:
Because I don't have many helper in this game, I took a lot of shortcut for the game. Hope you won't mind.

If there are any error or grammar mistake, please pm me.
(just check my game just now, I've corrected a few grammar mistake in there. But I bet there will be more. The one that I'm uploading now is before correction, but I was uploading mid way when I check it.)

Tips:
While your on the second day, give the rooftop a try when your at break time. :oops:

Download Link:
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby fleet » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:51 pm

There are a lot of grammar errors.
If you have the dialog in a text or word processor format, compress it, send it to me via PM and I will edit it for you.
very respectfully,
fleet

EDIT: Nice looking map but I didn't see it in the game.
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby jokkey » Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:53 pm

I'm sorry but I write everything for the dialogue straight awhile from my mind so I didn't have other format, is there any way to compress the dialogue out? or I'll have to get it 1 by 1?

Hahaha Thx fleet, The map will be start chapter three. The story I sent you have not yet reach that map. But the map is basicly a big large web system... All running on variables.
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby fleet » Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:48 pm

Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby Wright » Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:25 am

Story- Not bad.
The story was cute, though it was a bit banal. Even though the story was not bad, there were some plotholes. Like when the mother is calling her son at home, she would never ask "Is that you, my son?" First of all, a mother can recognize her son's voice easily, and secondly, her son was the only person at home, so it would obviously be him who would pick up the phone.
"What type of girl do you like?" No matter what, such a question would never appear in the exam. Even if it does, what about the girls who are going to answer it? For them it should be "What type of guys do you like?"

Artwork- Needs something new
The artwork used has become too familiar in visual novels. The "tsuina" character has been used in countless VNs, and so it is kind of tiresome to see it again and again.

Programming- Good.
The programming was done nicely. It deserves my compliment. The main menu was not only good, but it was the only special main menu I have seen in a game made with Novelty.
But I don't like bugs. Neither does any other reader. When the game is finished, it does not return to the main menu. Instead, the black screen is shown. And no matter what key I press, the game neither goes to the main menu, nor does the story advance.

Music and sound effects- Satisfactory
Nothing wrong with the music and sound effects.

Grammar- Bad.
The grammar needs a lot of improvement. You should hire a proofreader. There were too many spelling mistakes in your script and I would never agree to edit such a script even if someone pays me. I am sure English is not your first language and so you also need to buy books about English grammar and punctuation. Grammar is, after all, one of the most important things for someone who wants to be a writer.

Overall- Unsatisfactory
Even though I didn't enjoy playing it, the full game can be better if you concentrate on your grammar, story and bugs.
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby jokkey » Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:13 am

Fleet: Sorry for the late reply, I'll post it to you when I get a little further :lol:, now doing the mind map of the mapping system.

Wright: I appreciate your honesty, I"ll correct tthe grammar thing the best I can, I'll get help on that too. Some of the character I'll change later on :D
About the plot hole that you mention I'll check it later on. Thx alot! I'm sure to change Tsuina later on, She was actually the testing replacement for that
girl, I'll get on to that later on.

As the story is only short for now coz its still in progress, after the black screen you mention was actually the mapping system, I'm still doing it now. nid to program it for awhile.
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Re: Romantic Summer(In Progress)

Postby fleet » Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:27 pm

Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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