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Novelty forum • View topic - New VN Project - I need help with the title.

New VN Project - I need help with the title.

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New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Kittyplay2009 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:05 pm

Hey everyone. Because "Coffee Buddies" is on hiatus, I decided to start a new VN for the time being. I don't know the title, as of yet, so if any of you guys have any ideas for that, tell me! Here's the storyline.
...The past is nothing but a dream now.
In the past, I was a bird.
A bird who couldn't fly.
I saw a light, and followed it.
And I was led into another world.
A world where I transformed into a different creature.
A creature called human.
I want to fly.
I want to learn how to fly...


When the main character mentions seeing a light, it means that she and was Just thought I'd clear that up. i know the story isn't too interesting, but hopefully you enjoy it. Chapter 1 is almost done, and I may post it. What do you think of this concept for a story/VN? Should I upload Chapter 1?
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby fleet » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:45 pm

"Dreams of Flight" might work as a title.
I like the plot basics you've given.
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Aim » Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:15 pm

Please do post up the first chapter. I'll definitely give it a try if you do.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Avaible » Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:38 pm

"Rising"
or
"Rising higher"

I look forward to reading it.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Kittyplay2009 » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:58 am

Well, here's chapter one. The character development will improve later on, and I wrote it in present tense, for a change!


Chapter 1: A New Life Begins

"Ouch..." I can feel a sharp pain in my right leg. I dare not move as the pain is simply too much to bear. "Wait a second...why am I speaking in the language of humans? And why do I have human legs and arms, for that matter?!" Looking around me, I notice that I am no longer in my nest, but on the ground! What happened to me, anyway?! I close my eyes in hopes of forgetting the problem I have encountered. "Hey, are you okay? You seem...hurt. Sick, maybe."Upon opening my eyes, I see a young boy who's around the age of 15, if not older. Looking up at him, I stand up. "Y-yes, I'm okay. Who are you, anyway? Where did you come from?" He simply laughs on and on, flashing a quick wink at me. "The name's Tomo. I'm a transfer student from Japan. Sheesh, calm down! You don't have to be so...how do I put this...excited?" he says in a questioning tone. I stare at him for a few seconds before speaking up. "...Sorry about that..." "Don't worry about it! Hey, what's your name?" "My name...?" I ask, tilting my head at the question. To be honest, I don't have a name. I know that a name is simply like a label that you get called by, or something like that. Why should I need one? It's not as if names are important, right? Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Tomo looking into my eyes. "To be honest...I don't really have a name." He suddenly seems rather surprised."But all people have names! Since you don't have one now, let's make you a name!" I simply nod in agreement, and look at the different things around me, trying to think of a name. Then, I hear Tomo snap his fingers. "Aha, I have the perfect name for you. Your name will be Sora from now on" he says with a pleased look on his face. I nod, agreeing with the new name I have. But, there is something I'm unsure about. What does 'Sora' even mean? It sounds very foreign. "Hey, Tomo, could you tell me what Sora means? It's a very pretty name, but it sounds strange..." "'Sora' means 'sky' in Japanese, of course." he says in a somewhat strange tone of voice. I don't know how to describe it, except for the fact that it sounds very intelligent, in a way. I believe this kind of thing is known as 'matter-of-factly'. The world around me begins to darken, and I notice Tomo walking away. "Sorry, Sora, but I have to go now. It's getting late. Shouldn't you be headed home now, too?" he asks me, his hands behind his head as he begins to walk backwards (Wow, I never knew humans could walk backwards!). I nod, yet again, walking into the forest that I had come out of some time ago.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Aim » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:07 am

Hrm... I feel like when it comes to a VN, unless the audience is already familiar with all of your characters and settings, you'll need to describe the scenery and the characters a little more (not necessarily the main character, but the boy they interact with). I'm fervently against writing too much, don't get me wrong; some people get really carried away. It's just nice to be able to visualize things even without the help of the images in a VN.

Anyways, that would be my suggestion. I'm not a pro at this or anything, it just felt a little brief to me.

Good to see you working on the writing!
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Avaible » Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:44 am

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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Kittyplay2009 » Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:58 pm

Yeah, I know. I should be more careful with my storytelling, since it is pretty...well, you know, weak. I might rewrite this story sometime to make it better, but right now I need to focus on this and only this. I don't know how long it will be, to be honest, and I need some help with my story writing. Wow, I sound so helpless... :lol: I'm getting chapter two finished up, so it'll be up soon, once I revise it.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby fleet » Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:23 pm

WHen writing your story, may I suggest making an outline of the complete story first (I do it in longhand to keep from getting too detailed). Then write a script of the dialog and scenes (use a word processor program to catch spelling and grammar errors).
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Dixosaurus » Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:53 am

Don't rely on a word processor to catch grammatical mistakes.
I'd really suggest the book 'The penguin guide to plain English.'

"You and I" is one of the most frequently misused terms in the English language (not pointing any fingers! :lol: )

For a title I'd suggest something simple and less wordy than the ones you put forward, with perhaps one of your suggested titles as a sub-title, you could try looking up words relevant to your story in foreign or defunct languages for a main title. The method is old and overdone, but usually never fails.

(For example, Clannad is Gaelic for Family)
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby fleet » Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:31 am

No word processor program will catch everything; if you use an incorrect word that is still spelled correctly, no program will catch the mistake. Example: I intended to use the word "silver" in a VN, and instead typed "sliver".
Have several people proofread your writing. If English is not your native language, have people who are native born English speakers read it.

My point is that you WILL make mistakes that grammar checkers and spell checkers will not catch, and even if you have another person read it, that person may also miss spelling or grammar errors. Example: I wrote a VN script, used Microsoft Word to type the script, which found a LOT of spelling and grammar errors. I then had my partner read everything, and my partner found some. After correcting those errors, I had several others read it, and they found an error that my partner and I missed.

very respectfully,
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Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby skim » Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:01 am

The premesis is identical to Haibane Renmei and the character Rakka.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby Aim » Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:40 am

I don't think there's enough out yet to draw such a conclusion. The character in Haibane Renmei is an angel, whereas this character talks about a "nest" and thereby seems to have been a bird. I've never watched it, I'm just reading the wikipedia article.

It needs to develop more before anyone can make a judgment. With only such a tiiiiiny piece, this element matching up is likely just a coincidence.
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Re: New VN Project - I need help with the title.

Postby slider11 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:43 am

Is it a love story, or a self-exploration story?
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