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Novelty forum • View topic - Hatsune Miku VN

Hatsune Miku VN

Show off your works in progress or share your completed games with the community.

Hatsune Miku VN

Postby kratoscar2008 » Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:50 am

I just made this one because somehow this character has started to grow on me and well im just happy i finished this.

60MB

Story
You take the role as the Player Character (Named Player) in wich he is a silent protagonist (I use a third persona narrative). Your computer got a lethal virus and you must erase the programm Vocaloid to do so and your music will be lost, you wish to a shooting star to save your work and the next day you find a girl lying on the floor of your room and so the story of Miku and you begin....

The game doesnt have desicions its just a read VN, English is not my language so sorry if your eyes bleed from my bad writing.

Next project: The Growlanser universe VN.
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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby fleet » Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:03 pm

Downloading now. :D
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby kratoscar2008 » Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:52 pm

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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby fleet » Fri Nov 02, 2012 10:54 pm

I enjoyed the story.
There were lots of grammar and spelling mistakes (too numerous to list, sometimes you spelled the word couch as coach.). I recommend having someone who is a native English speaker review the dialog.
My eyes didn't hurt from them, but the use of aqua colored letters on an orange background did make my eyes hurt. I recommend using a different color font or background.
I also recommend adding load, save, and quit buttons.
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby kratoscar2008 » Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:16 am

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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby fleet » Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:51 pm

I also noted that the VN crashed when I tried to quit. You might want to add a newpage after the page the says "fin" and put the "End Novel" action on that new page.
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby kratoscar2008 » Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:58 pm

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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby darkcore09 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 10:55 pm

Let me tell you that I really liked your story, mainly because it reminds me of a story I wrote once, inspired in Chobits.
However, your english isn't very good (and I'm sure mine isn't perfect yet :P). Do you mind if I ask you were are you from?
I also think that it needs the "Save" and "Load" buttons because the program crashed on my pc (Windows 7) in the middle of the story.
I'd like to help you with the dialogues, but I don't know if your story is finished or if you're still work on it.
Cheers!
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Re: Hatsune Miku VN

Postby kratoscar2008 » Sun Feb 10, 2013 7:50 am

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