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Unknown Terror

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:43 am
by Unknown
The game is basically a demo very short. With characters that already came with novelty. Thanks Skim I was looking for a boy. It doesn't focus on one character. All five characters have all of their thoughts in a different color frame. The story is really basic which I intended it to be of course. Five people are interested in going to this haunted house. Each of them has their own goals for going no matter how ridiculous they are.

It randomly appears during certain days of the night. You won't get to the haunted house part. Well probably never I still need to focus more on the characters before I get to that part. If I ever decide to continue that is. Most likely I'm not gonna continue it. But is there any characters you like or hated or did you hated all the characters? in this very short story.

http://www.hulkshare.com/fm9h6r92zbkj

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Re: Unknown Terror

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 6:23 pm
by fleet
Congratulation on making a demo, your first effort was much better than my first visual novel. :D
You were successful in making the character June unlikeable.
The kinetic novel ran okay, until just after the scene where June imagines talking with a reporter, then it crashed. I assume you did not include the 'end novel' action.
I think it's unrealistic for a high school student to admit to her peers that she is incontinent.
You might want to have a friend sit with you and go through the dialog. There were a few grammar errors (example: "a adventure" should read "an adventure").

Re: Unknown Terror

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:03 am
by Unknown
I did include an end novel but it always crashes for some reason. About the grammar errors you are right I saw your post about the spell check in Microsoft word if I continue on this game I will definitely use it I can't believe I didn't thought of that earlier.