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Novelty forum • View topic - I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPLETE]

I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPLETE]

Show off your works in progress or share your completed games with the community.

I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPLETE]

Postby timeothyhour » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:50 am

Image

A short, experimental foray into the world of visual novel-ing. As the first VN I've ever worked on, and finishing in less than 24 hours, technically it's not all that great; I lament the fact that graphics originated almost entirely from the original program, some of the sound design is weak, and the alien clunkiness that comes with the prefab interface.

The story, I feel, was the main focus of the piece, and although it lacked some finesse due to adjusting to a new medium, overall it feel sufficient. The title of the piece, I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night, I think, gives enough information without spoiling anything.

You can download it here:



Your feedback is appreciated!
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Re: I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPL

Postby fleet » Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:16 pm

Hello. I downloaded and played the VN, making several choices.

I'm wondering why you used the special characters (!@#$%^) as much as you did. Is it your intent to use them to indicate swearing? If so, I find it odd that the special characters appeared when she said her name.
When she's telling the story about the sun and moon, she said the Sun came from 'the void, out from its infinite, mysterious bodice." The word "out" is unnecessary. Also, bodice means a corset or upper part of a woman's dress. Do you mean bosom?
When I played the path where she tells the story, after finishing the story she comments that it stopped raining, but the rain sound continued.
When she is describing how they will make love, she says "You'll wisper in my shining...", whisper is misspelled.

The Save, Load, Log, and Quit Game buttons don't work.

I liked the story.You did well with the built in sprites, sounds and backgrounds. I recommend you add a title screen and music.
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPL

Postby timeothyhour » Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:43 pm

timeothyhour
 
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Re: I'll Pretend to Fall in Love in the Dead of Night [COMPL

Postby Wright » Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:47 pm

I didn't play the game but still judging your game from the comment by Fleet, there is something I wish to tell you.
Do NOT read further if you are easily offended.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you are making a book without a cover, who will buy it?
I know a man who creates a magazine about rural development or some things like that. It does not accept any advertisements. But, still not many people buy that magazine.
They don't buy it because it has no cover. It has no decoration. Even though the purpose of the magazine is promoting peace and helping people, it is not popular. The owner and editor is having financial problems and would have starved if the magazine did not receive donations.
I don't think it has a website, or I could have given you the link.
Anyway, the point here is:
The same goes for a VN. It may not be very beautiful, but still I believe you should make a title screen.
Making something without a cover makes it look really unprofessional.
And it's better if you call it spelling mistakes instead of errors.
I'd also like to tell you that if the buttons don't work, you should remove them no matter what.
It's really annoying to have buttons that don't work.
It may also infuriate the players. And I don't think you want that to happen, am I right?
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