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Novelty forum • View topic - Can someone grade my literature?

Can someone grade my literature?

Discuss story ideas and the art of writing.

Can someone grade my literature?

Postby kenxisonline » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:59 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby Avaible » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:15 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby kenxisonline » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:52 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby Avaible » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:49 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby kenxisonline » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:45 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby Avaible » Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:06 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby skim » Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:33 pm

... it seems there's a severe lack of explanations in the writing.

Already in the first 20 lines of the story I felt like I forgot to read a couple of chapters before stumbling across to this one.

Even if they are existing characters, there should be some explanation as to who they are, or what they're doing, or some other blurb about why or how they are significant to the events to be described in the following story.
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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby kenxisonline » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:22 pm

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Re: Can someone grade my literature?

Postby kash » Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:41 am

Avaible hit most of the nails on the head. Combat scenes are the cheddar in a great deal of stories. I like the exchange of blows with equally deadly dialogue.

Battles though don’t occur in a vacuum (arenas, stadiums, actual vacuums). Incorporate some neat environmental destruction to remind us of where we are. A skillful fighter uses the environment to their advantage. In a battle of equal power, skill wins out.

I understand this is an excerpt but the combat involves allot unexplained variables. The powers just seem to come out of nowhere. Maybe you explain it in the preceding work but an outsider just tuning it is lost without points of reference. In my writing mechanism replaces mysticism, but I love many works that incorporate magic. Mostly this is because of a unified world magic system that adds to internal consistency. Spellcards, scrolls, mana draws, blood stones, whatever, they’re consistent. Also law of energy conservation is nice, where forth does power come from? The atmosphere, mana reserves, forsaken children, blood energy?

Fairies do they exist in this world? Idk, they’re a breed of stock fantasy characters that automatically stretch the imagination.

Not so sure about clones. Reminds me of Naruto. *shudders*

Anyway, I like the dialogue it’s dynamic. Don’t get discouraged, I’m not much better myself. I get lost in the swing of combat, allot in my writing.
What is the mountain's peak without pain of the trek to summit? What is victory without battle? What is Drama without Trauma?
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