Please help me improve!

[fatedpaths]

Well currently havent had much time drawing due to work and will continue to update this space full of my drawings... so a favour to all, pls critic my work as harsh/true as possible to help me improve... and that doesnt mean im not suited to critic others work... so please share your views too as to improve both parties...

Update: 09/12/2010 : i shred most of my drawings.. im picky...

[kazmiz]

I think the sketch looks realy nice.
One thing thou, isnt he a bit too thin on the waist/stomach and to thin legs?
Thats only my opinin but thats how it looks to me.

Maybe coloring it will take care of this but u will need to experiment with that:p

Oh one more thing. On the left side it looks like the belt is slightli tilted to the side (left uper right lower) and it doesnt look like its the efekt of the perspective
While on the right front view it completely straight (If its for a character to be used, this would need to be sorted out)

[hakumen001]

Sure. I have some things to add that might help out a fellow artist. The girls face in the middle isnt cute enough. It just seems there. There needs to either be some moe factor to her or if your going serious as the tone of her expression implys, you need to make her seem more sexy, but pissed. Maybe experimenting with the eyes by either making them bigger or changing the shape or adding eye lashes, changing the eye brows so the left one has more of a scow expression to it. Adding highlights to the coloring can really change the mood to the drawing as well. adding a lip highlight or one to the cheeks. Maybe adding rosation to the cheeks. Adding highlights to the hair in the blue area. frills to shirt or make it look more lacy maybe. All the art you've colored needs more tones. Meaning a normal color layer, highlights layer and a shadows layer. this will make the art stand out and look amazing. Just look at some other visual novels and you should immediately pick up on it. The girl in the middle is the best one, but those are some things I thought would improve it to make it jaw dropping. The guy's pose is just too stiff. Maybe relaxing his shoulders, dropping his head 10 degrees lower and making him look bored instead of a bland Im here face. The expression and the fact that he's looking away doesnt match. If he's bothered with being there and doesnt want to show his co-operation by looking away, the expression should match. Next, unhiding the other arm and bringing it also to the front would greatly help the pose as well. Highlight in the hair for him and lastly if possible in the style you're going for, show the differences in materials of the clothing. If it's wool, polyester, latex, cotton, try to relay it if your going more serious or realistic. If not then discard this. I just thought the art would look cool with that detail, but it may not be worth the trouble. Simplistic works better in some cases. That's all I got for a serious crit.