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Novelty forum • View topic - In need for critiques for character design

In need for critiques for character design

Where artists get to show off their art.

In need for critiques for character design

Postby Meiji » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:06 pm

Hello on everyone in this forum. I'm just new here and on novelty program.

Me and a good friend have just decided to make a Visual Novel ourselves by using our own resources. We're just on the move on getting the right apps like novelty, image/sound related apps, etc. I've been assigned at the task for the VN art. I've just started to use this thing we called 'technology' for making the VN artwork, the so-called pentab (just started yesterday).

After some trial and error, reading online guides, watching video tutorials, I tried to make the character design for our VN's 2 main heroines. I kinda feel like missing something, or maybe I'm just a paranoid of messing things up. That's why I've gathered some courage and register here to hear some criticism, input, comments and opinion on the char designs. The corresponding names of both characters are yet to be decided though.



My first pentab attempt was doing this heroine yesterday. She should be a character as described by my partner(which had the original concept):

Ill-tempered, loud, deviant, short-red haired tsundere.
Heroine-1.jpg
Heroine 1 Lineart






I've done the second heroine's line art a few hours ago, she was described as:

Gentle, reserved, proper, long-blue haired role model student/maiden.
Heroine-2.jpg
Heroine 2 Lineart



...since I've been into it, I've managed to try and color the second one on photoshop.
Heroine-2_Colored.jpg
Heroine 2 Colored (background credit goes to konachan)





I know we both still have a long way to go, practicing this new media, reading more guides/watching more vid tutorials, recording our own music from a rental studio over the city, discussing/writing the story plot/flow, making the necessary scripts. So I thought to have some access for more heads and have opinions about each of those, but for now, the lineart.

I humbly hope to get along here in this community with the folks. And lastly, sorry for my bad english just in case. It's not a native language of mine. <------sucked@english class since highschool
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Crusher » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:27 pm

Seriously, why do you doubt yourself so much? The line art is simply fantastic, I just have the feeling that the throats are too long, especially in the second picture (it may be just me though). The colored version looks very good as well - very dreamy. That's much better than 90% of the stuff I see actually used in indie-novels. Can't give any advice since I can't draw anything myself, but just wanted to say that this looks wonderful in the eyes of a non-drawer. Be more confident in yourself, it's clearly visible you have many years of experience and talent.
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Avaible » Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:18 pm

Welcome to the forum, we're all nice here, so no need to be afraid to ask anything :mrgreen:

I can only agree with Crusher, what you did here for your, as you said, first attempts with it that's looking better than what most hobbiest manage. So, my advice, just get used to drawing with a tablet and you're going to get some really nice results pretty fast. Also, the necks are too long, indeed, except for that though it feels completely natural which is a good thing. But is it just me or is one of the eyes of the tsundere a bit out of place? Either too high or the other too low, I can't really pinpoint it.
If you do want to know further opinions, you might want to visit the sub-forum over at Lemma Soft. They have a lot of experienced active artists which will always want to help you if you show them that much skill as you have. They're also a nice bunch;) In fact, anything to do with visual novels can be discussed there, just as here.

And yeah, well, you're English is good enough, believe me. And with examples like Momiji (a user) we're used to worse grammar :P
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby fleet » Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:34 pm

I can't draw, but your work looks much better than some of the stuff I've seen in amateur VNs.
I'm sorry I can't offer anything more constructive.
very respectfully,
fleet
Why? I like big ones, that's why.
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Meiji » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:33 pm

I'm starting to notice one by one my current problems with pentab. I can't do yet my usual style on detailing the eyes, and some more offsets on lines. I'm using a small pentab, maybe it adds up to my trouble of making longer lines/strokes.
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Momiji » Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:06 pm



Image -----Image
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby 15385bic » Fri Oct 28, 2011 3:31 am

15385bic
 
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Meiji » Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:06 am

Meiji
 
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Re: In need for critiques for character design

Postby Avaible » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:13 pm

should give you some more information about Sai. It's a great tool, really.
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